Belly Full of Reality

 Excuse me first. I really mean not dreams but reality.

The fun part of dreaming is just that.  Nothing comes out of it, and it could be good or bad dreams.  It's like watching a movie or a show, it's simple not real but keeps you engaged for a small amount of time.  You just hope that it's good.

All my life I have had no issues with sleeping and or eating on time.  Most of my adult years I worked very hard.  At least I think I worked very hard. When I got sick and was trying to recover, it took years for me to get to be what we call a normal person, but never had issues with eating or sleeping.  I really think the whole human life revolves around satisfying hunger and once it is, then have a good sleep.  In between these 2 activities, we strive to work hard (make money) and do it almost everyday of life.  As I have gotten older I don't think I am any smarter or wiser than I was a teenager or a young man.  I just had a lot more energy to learn and do things, and now I have a lot more experience and have no idea what all the things I did really mattered to what I do now.  Only think that has mattered is the ability to keep doing things that will keep the reality of life to keep it going.

The old Sanskrit saying loosely translated into English "past is past" is very true.  I know I have the great ability to forget stuff quickly after January 2010.  I rely mostly on practice rather than memory, which I lost.  I don't dwell on not being able to remember every name, or every instance, every todo, or sometimes I simply can't remember.  I freely admit to having limited space in remembering, and it is really true.  It doesn't mean I forget who I am and what I am.  The reality is I am in the second life that my family presented to me, and saved me from a premature obituary.

I am still uncomfortable with distrust and dishonesty.  I really have difficult time saying "no".  I really don't ask much for help outside of issues related to work, and I am always happy to admit to something I don't no.  Many of these things that I practice make my life simpler (at least I think) by simply keeping it direct to what I feel.  I have no issues in admiring the simplest of things in life and expressing the joy of everyone's actions.  In my reality it is still the black and white life.  Either it is true or false.  In all instances I like to just say the truth and whatever the consequences it is just fine with me as I don't have defend it.  I like it simple.

Lately I have been having more difficulty in saying no.  I work really hard, and my body doesn't cooperate as it was when I came out of college.  I just admitted to my coworkers that I really didn't like to change organizations.  It is no longer work you are professionally doing, but work place management has become managing the changing management.  In essence you are doing the same work but your management is replaced or changed in such frequency, so are your learning to manage your management nuances in alarming regularity.

Professional life has been changing with alarming pace.  Gone are the days where one held on to the job for a long time (sometimes one employer until retirement).  Now it is commonplace to replace employers every few months.  I am still old fashioned (perhaps a little too attached to people) and a little bot reluctant to keep changing places.  It is not because of my inability to adjust, but it is because of my inability to say no.

It is May of 2024, and today is "MAY DAY".  I am thinking of my Sunday on the couch and if my little one is ready go to the mall for lunch and may be some shopping.  That the reality I like with regularity.  I don't have to dream of anything, as I am done with thinking of being uncertain, and I am ok with the daily reality.  The years have really thought me of what is real, and I am OK with it.

Words and wisdom, actions and reactions, love and affection, life and it's reality: all of them past really will not reflect what is future.  They are all testaments of what we did, but not necessarily what we will be doing.  Just think 1980 phone and 2020 phone, absolute unbelievable change to life.  Look at what google does to your information needs, and my favorite is the large horde of road maps I had in the car and now I just tell my phone to find my home.

The only thing that hasn't changed in reality for an individual is hunger and the need for sleep.  I already argued nothing will change that as a full stomach and a good sleep will make us think well and keep making them advances that we can only dream of.